Other Writings
Writing sample for a job application. (It got me an interview!)
Instructions: Write about a pet habit...
Pets make us happy. More specifically, dogs. Studies have shown that dog owners are twice as likely to consider themselves very happy compared to cat owners. It’s probably because with dogs, we can tell they are just as happy to be with us as we are to be with them. When dogs are happy, you know. They express it with their whole body; from the tips of their little wet noses, to the ends of their wagging tails.
It’s their body language that we love so much, so why not speak it back?!
I started doing this for dog walks. When I know it’s about that time, I look right at them and in a whisper I say, “Do you want to go…” (Their ears perk up, head tilts, and eyes lock with mine.) Then, I wave my hands in the air, shake my hips, and yell, “WALKING?!!” They Lose. Their. Mind. Just try it! It’s like you just told your kids they’re going to Disneyland— Your dogs will bark with excitement, wag their tails so hard you think they might fall off, and ruuuuuun to the door! Why? Because for dogs, outside is The Happiest Place on Earth.
Worried about looking foolish? Don’t be! Your dogs will eat it up… Then, beg for seconds! You can be as obnoxious and over-the-top as you want. The more you are, the more they will be. Before you know it, you and your dogs will be hopped up on happiness hormones without even stepping foot outside!
As dog parents, we care for our furbabies as if they were our own children. We feed them, bathe them, and love them. But, since they’re dogs, we also have to walk them. When it comes to walks, we just go through the motions: Get the leash. Clip it on the collar. Open the door, and take them out. Where’s the fun in that? For you, or your dogs?! So, next time it’s that time, bibbidi-bobbidi your booty— and, watch the magic begin.
A Facebook Event for my 30th Birthday party...
Broads and Bros!! Blondes and Brunettes!!
Come to BRENDA'S BDAY BONANZA!!!
BRING BITES! ...like a Bushel of Berries, a Bundle of Bananas, and a Bucket of Butterscotch Bonbons! Boneless Bbq Beef Bits! Buy Baby Buffalo and Bleu cheese Bison Burgers on a Burnt Bun and a Batch of Baked Beans! Or Brie, Basil, and Bland Bologna on Bran Bread! If you're Broke, just Boil some Bagged Broccoli that you Bought at the Bodega!
BYOB! ...like Bottled Bubbly Beverages (that'll make you Burp and Bloat!), Booze -- like Brewed Beer, Bacardi, Bourbon, and Brandy! Or just Brita water!
Be Breathtakingly Beautiful By wearing your Best Blouses, Blazers, and Britches over your Bras, Bloomers, Boxers or Briefs! BUT, Bare Behinds would make me Blast out a Boisterous Burst! Bahahaha!!!
Bodacious Babes -- BEAT that face with Blush and Bronzer, or throw on a Bonne Bell lip Balm! Beauty Bloggers Boast about Bobbi Brown, Benefit, and Buxom ...or just get Botox!
Hair could Be Braids with Barrettes, Buns in Back, or a Brushed Blowout... how 'Bout Being Bold with a Bouffant or Big Beehive? Brazen Boys -- a Bowl cut, Bushy Brows and a Bristly Beard would be Bomb!
Bendy Bracelets, Beaded Bird Broaches, or Bright Bows By Betsy? Brass Buttons, Brown Belts and Burgundy Bandanas? Got Black Burberry Brand Boots? Baby Blue Birkenstocks? Better Bring 'em!
They'll Be Boppin' Beats Blaring from my Boom Box!! Maybe the Beastie Boys on Bass, The Bangles, The Beatles, or The Bacon Brothers! The Bee Gees in Bellbottoms like The Brady Bunch! Burt Bacarrac and his Band! Both Billys, Barry, or The Beach Boys Bangin' on Bongos!
BECAUSE?!?!
It will Be a Buzz-worthy Bash with Balloons, Boas, and Bedazzled Bric-a-Brac! You'll Blend in, and Bank on Bonding with a Barrel of Bizarre Buddies!!!
BOTTOM LINE: It would Behoove you to Be there!!! Or Beware of a Bruisin' Backside...
...AAAND I went above and BEYOND to Bewitch you By Busting out this Brilliant Blurb from my Brain!
Buh, Bye!
B
Takin' it back to 2002... I wrote a speech for my high school graduation. All of the Student Body officers were asked to give a speech, and as the ASB Treasurer I got to kick things off. My topic: Elementary School.
As we look back to where the class of 2002 began, we think about a time when life was simple. All we had to do for school was show up, keep our hands, feet, and objects to ourselves, and make sure to stay in the lines when coloring... A great beginning... Kindergarden. First grade was pretty much the same, except the joy of going to school for half a day was over... Forever. Second grade we started to get into stylish fashion... Girls wore the glamourous side pony tails, and guys... wore pants that fit. In third grade, we enjoyed recess in the morning, recess after lunch, and recess in the afternoon. By fourth grade we lost the afternoon recess, but gained the privilage of having lunch with the people we admired most... The big kids... fifth and six graders. During fifth grade, we learned two letters of the alphabet: O.J. Finally sixth grade, the year we all waited for... Our time to rule the school, and the time to beat all the underclassmen at handball. As the year ended, we became a little nervous because we knew we were headed to a place where we would have to know SIX teachers' names, and P.E. was not like another recess. But, most importantly, we'd be at the bottom of the food chain... again. The place: junior high.